Open My Eyes
by ArtysSexKitten
Summary: A rumor posted in the BBS gets Balmung thinking about his failing relationship with Kamui and his hidden love for Reki. Oneshot. Kind of long. Based off the manga. Shounen ai. BalmungReki.


**Open My Eyes**

Summery: A rumor posted in the BBS gets Balmung thinking about his failing relationship with Kamui and his hidden love for Reki. Oneshot. Kind of long. Based off the manga.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the manga .hack. But wouldn't it be cool to have a game like that.

Pairing(s): Balmung/Reki.

Warning: Yaoi/SLASH (whatever) OOCness (first .hack/DUSK fic people) and some swearing.

Rating: M

**Authoress' Greeting: I realize this isn't the correct .hack category, but there isn't one for Legend of the Twilight, and fanfiction are taking longer than usual to put it up. So it'll stay here (moved from the misc section) for the moment. The misc section... who goes there anyway.**

**.hack / The Legend of the Twilight Bracelet (Or .hack/DUSK) is such a good manga. The anime unfortunately wasn't good at all. The plot was different. Zelfi wasn't even in it. Zelfi! (clears throat) Anyway. Reki is my favorite character. And his friendship with Balmung is adorable. And what kind of fangirl would I be if I didn't "alter" said friendship into a passionate sexual boy love ship?**

**In the anime it was implied that Balmung and Kamui where an item. Rubbish I tell you. I don't like Kamui much, she's never done anything to _make_ anyone like her... So I'm going to be... not nice to her. Eh heh heh heh. So Kamui fans beware.**

**Some of this fic will be placed in the real world. I dunno why. It appeals to me. I mean, you NEVER get to see them do normal things. But don't worry, Shugo and crew will make an appearance. **

**When Balmung says "you", he's referring to Reki.**

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We argue a lot and don't share the same beliefs. Sometimes I wonder why we're in a relationship at all. She frustrates me and picks fights. So arrogant and sure of herself. Always so sure that what she does is just and right.

I don't think so. I've never thought so. Well... I did once, which is when we started dating. But Kite showed me onto the right path and I've been on that path for five years. Kamui doesn't want to believe that what she and her "Green Knights" do is unfair and cruel.

Like I said. I don't know why I'm still dating her. You seem to feel the need to remind me every chance you get. I brush it off and change the subject. But you know better.

Reki you see right through my attempts to hide it, and you don't understand why I put up with her.

Well... I don't know either.

--

"A ball, like... one of those things where it's all dancing and fancy dress?" you ask in slight confusion.

I nod and turn around to face you. You're hugging your data book to your chest and have one fine eyebrow raised. Quite the trade mark look for you Reki.

"Yes a ball. I thought it might be fun. We do so many festivals I thought it was time for a change." I respond cheerfully.

You stare at me for a moment. Greens eyes piercing and your eyebrows lower.

"I see. What's the catch?" you dead-pan.

"Catch?"

"Yes sir, catch. You always have some... strange catch to all of your events. What is it this time?"

"Reki, must you think so lowly of me?" You don't reply, only giving me a Look, so I continue. "There is no catch. It's just an innocent fancy dress ball." I explain. Pointing to a screen with the invitation of said ball on it. I'm still writing it. "See?"

You look over my shoulder, a feat which you normally wouldn't achieve, being as small as you are. But I'm sitting down and you are kneeling behind me. I wait as you read the page. One slender hand on my shoulder to steady yourself. While your attention is focused on something else, I give myself some time to study your hands. Something I have found I'm quite... obsessed with.

They're so small and thin. It's not surprising. I have seen how people react to you when they first meet you in "The World". Before you speak, most players mistake you for a girl. (1) You constantly find it annoying, though I find it quite amusing. But back to your hands.

They're really quite feminine, attractive. Your real hands are like this as well. Small, slender and soft. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be touched by those hands. What it would be like to...

"You've miss spelled a few words." you say suddenly. Breaking me out of my thoughts.

I hide a blush and look back at the transparent page before me and the word you're pointing to. Puchiguso. Ah... I've spelled it Pushiguso, a typo. I fix it and the other words you point out.

"So... it'll be a fancy dress ball." you say, sitting down next to me and tucking your robes under you. "There is no limit to the costumes?"

"No. And you don't need to bring a date either."

"What a relief. The date rule is pathetic. At least, I've always thought so. I mean, what if you don't have a date? It's hard for everyone to get one and since you spring these things an hour or so before the event, it's pretty hard to find one." you babble. Getting worked up in your rant.

I smile again.

"Reki, your babbling." I point out, cutting you off and you blush, embarrassed. You're such a proper little thing, you get flustered so easily. "That's what I thought also. So you don't need to bring a date, only if you really want to." I stand up and you follow suit. Your reddish-brown robes flowing out neatly around you.

I open my mouth to give you your orders, but you cut me off with a sort of scoff/sigh and tuck your book under one arm.

"I'll get this news out right away Mr Balmung. I suppose you have some important _thing_ to go to right away?. As usual. I'll take care of everything."

My smile never falters.

"I do actually. I'm going to see Kamui. We have a date today."

Your lips turn down into a frown and you look at me in a pitying, yet cross manner.

"I don't know why you put up with her. She's not good for you. Always ruining your hard work and arguing with you."

I sigh and nod slowly. I was expecting you to say that. You've never approved of my relationship with Kamui. And I suppose you have good reason not to. Hardly anyone likes the woman and half the time even I can't stand her. The relationship doesn't make me happy and I spend more time complaining about her then anything else. But I get lonely and she's just... there. Sounds cruel I know, but it's the truth. Besides, who else do I have?

"Balmung..." you start, frown deepening and you reach out to lay a hand on my arm.

"Reki I kno-"

"Balmung!" a deep, yet female voice cuts me off. That seems to be happening a lot today. I really do like finishing my sentences. Reki and I turn as one to face a cross Kamui, though when has there ever been a time when she didn't look pissed off? You pull your hand back.

She glares at me. I return her stare, though without the daggers. You clear your throat, successfully bringing both of our attention to you. Though I'm sure you only want mine. You've displayed enough dis-like toward Kamui to get the point that you hate her across.

Kamui regards you with a pompous gaze, looking her nose down at you. You ignore her, and talk directly to me.

"I see you have... _important_ matters to attend to, so I'll be taking my leave. I'll have the event ready Mr Balmung."

I smile at you warmly and you shyly return it.

"I have complete faith in you Reki. I'll see you later."

"Yes sir." And you disappear with a slight bow, in a column yellow teleport rings.

Once gone I turn to Kamui, who looks more annoyed then she did when she arrived a few minutes ago. I wonder why. I don't think I'll ever figure women out. They are too much of a puzzle. Her especially.

"What did you want Kamui?" I ask finally, breaking the long silence between us.

She huffs and crosses her arms, her spear nursed in the crook of one elbow.

"What do you mean '_What do you want_.' We agreed to meet today. And you where late. 10 minutes late to be exact. So I came looking for you." she said, ruby red lips curling up in a snarl.

"Kamui, my apologies. But I was busy organizing my new event. A-"

"With that little lackey of yours no doubt." she snarks.

"Lackey?" I ask, puzzled by the term. Then it hits me. "Oh, you mean Reki. Of course, he is my assistant. Like Maki is yours. What's so wrong with him helping me?"

She sucks hard at her gums.

"Nothing. Anyway, I thought we where meant to go out today?"

Changing the subject. She must feel uncomfortable talking about Reki or something. I dismiss it and smile in what I hope is a charming manner.

"Yes we are. I was thinking we could go out for lunch."

--

We had another fight. Which doesn't surprise me at all. We fight every time we're within three feet of eachother.

I think back to it as I place the head set on my desk. I've logged out for a while, to have something to eat before the ball this evening. A wise choice, my stomach feels like it's eating itself.

We fought about Reki. Something that has never happened before. We where sitting in a small café, talking about random things. When Kamui suddenly brought my assistant up. For no apparent reason at all and started insulting him. Calling him a whore, among other things.

I of course, defended him. Reki was the closet person to me and I trusted him above all others. I wasn't about to let Kamui of all people call him such vile names. He hadn't done anything to her.

It turned out there was a rumor going about the message boards that he and I where having some sort of... secret affair. Some people had even given him a nick name. Balmung little bitch. Kamui took the rumors to heart and started accusing me of cheating. I calmed her down to an extent, which took a good hour and a half. Reassuring her that nothing was going on between Reki and myself. She didn't believe me and left in a huff.

I stand at the water cooler in the office corridor. Not bothering to go down to the employee café just yet. Going over the rumor in my head. After Kamui left I visited the message board that had the thread about my "relationship" with Reki on it. Reading the posts. More than half the people posting where happy and excited about the possibility that I was secretly dating my subordinate. The other half where either against it, or not really interested.

But the idea itself. The idea that we _could_ date had me thinking. Could Reki and I really have a relationship together? The idea was nothing new. I had been thinking about it for months now, but had shoved the thoughts to the back of my mind. I was already dating someone after all. But still, Reki was beautiful and we got on fabulously.

I pushed myself off the wall and started for the elevator. Thoughts and... images of Reki stuck in my head. I mustn't have been watching where I was going, because I ran into someone. Almost knocking them to the carpet. I started to apologize when my eyes met hazel ones.

"Mr Balmung, you really shouldn't day dream while walking."

You're standing in front of me. Smiling coyly.

"Sorry Reki, I was thinking about something. Are you alright?"

"Fine. How was your date?" you ask as the lift doors open and we step in. It's empty, good.

I sigh and put my hands behind my head. Threading my fingers into my blond hair.

"Not good." I reply. "We had another fight."

You frown and look at me in mild sympathy.

"What about this time?"

"Nothing..." I can't tell you what we fought about, you might take it the wrong way. "It was nothing."

"People say it was about me." you state matter-of-factly. And the doors open and you step out. I follow, shocked.

"Pardon?"

You smile slightly and fall into step beside me.

"Word travels fast in "The World". You should know that. And next time you might want to argue in a more privet setting. I received an email from Shugo not too long ago. He said he'd overheard someone saying you and Kamui where fighting about me and some rumor on the BBS."

Uh oh.

"I checked said rumor out." you blush, but smirk anyway. "I knew Kamui wasn't all that bright. But I never knew she'd be foolish enough to believe a rumor posted by someone who has never even seen us before." you say. "The player who started the rumor belongs to the Spanish server. They're known for starting rumors in their own forums and causing trouble. They've never even seen us before, most people don't even know who I am. They just heard our names and wanted to cause a stir."

"Oh... what did you do about the thread?"

"I left it as it was. It's not doing anyone any harm. Rumors aren't against the rules."

We enter the café and head for the fridge. I pick out a coke and you take an iced coffee. As we order our food and pay for the drinks. I chance a glance at you. You look normal enough, in a good mood. But I can tell you're brooding. You're tapping your foot and I've known you long enough to know that you only do that when brooding.

We sit down and I chance my luck and ask your opinion on the rumor itself. About... you and I. You blush and look at your cake.

"Oh ah... I'm not mad if that's what you want to know. It's just a silly rumor." you say, but I don't believe you.

"I don't believe you." I say, and you look up at me. I stare back challengingly. "I know when you're lying Reki."

You look back at the chocolate cake.

"Well what about you. What do you think about it?" it's said softly and it seems like your afraid of my answer.

"It's nonsense. Just a rumor, as you say. I don't know why Kamui took it so seriously, none of it's true."

My response is followed by a long silence. I start to eat, remembering what I'd come down here for. When you stand up, taking me and some of the people around us by surprise.

"I... I should go." you say hurriedly. "The ball starts in a few hours and I need to do some errands. I'll see you there."

I stare after you as you leave, weaving through tables and rushing out of the doors, knocking a few people out of your way. Your cake laying forgotten on the plate. Untouched. I look at it.

"Did I say something?"

--

The ball started a an hour ago and I haven't seen you since our talk at lunch. It's straying to worry me. Kamui is standing next to me. Dressed as a... knight. How creative. Myself, I've come as a prince. I don't know why, I just picked the first costume showed to me at the items store.

"Want to dance?" Kamui asks. I shake my head, looking around the ballroom. She glares. "All you've been doing tonight is standing around. What's your problem?"

"I thought you didn't like dancing." I say off-handedly.

"I don't."

"Then why ask?"

She growls something but I ignore it.

You must be avoiding me. It's not like you to say something and do another. So that must be it. You're avoiding me. But why? What did I do? You have a quick temper, but you never hold grudges. It's so unlike you.

Shugo and Rena suddenly walk past. They are in matching costumes. Romeo and Juliet. Rena's idea probably. I stop them. Rena smiles at me and blushes. Shugo cocks an eyebrow.

"Oh hey. What's up?" he asks.

"Have you seen Reki?"

"He logged out ages ago. Sent me an email to..." he flushes as dark as his sister. "Oh... sorry. I was meant to tell you." A nervous laugh.

Rena rolls her eyes and hits him. Scolding him for his forgetfulness and overall stupidity, as she puts it. The girl then turns to me as Shugo scowls, rubbing the back of his head.

"Sorry about him. Yeah Reki logged out. Said he was too tired to come tonight. Didn't he tell you?" she asks.

I shake my head.

"No... he didn't." You logged out? Without tell me?

Shugo and Rena exchange a glance then look at me. Worry mirrored in their expressions.

"Is... is everything alright?" Shugo asks. He looks so much like Kite that sometimes I can imagine that he's back. (2) "Did you two have a fight?"

I don't answer. We didn't fight. But I've hurt you somehow anyway. I look up and see that the twins are still there. Watching me quietly.

"I'm sorry. I have to go." I say and without another word, I log out.

Shugo looked at Rena.

"Do you think he'll figure it out?"

She shrugged.

"I hope so. You men can be so stupid sometimes."

"Hey!"

--

I have only been to your apartment twice before. I've never really seen any need to meet you in real life. We see eachother at work everyday, all day. But I regret neglecting you like that now.

I stand outside the front door. There are voices and music coming from inside. The television no doubt. I've been standing here for 5 minutes, trying to sum up the courage to knock, to let you know I'm here. I'm afraid of what you'll say. Of what you'll do when you find out I'm here.

You'll yell at me most likely. Or just pretend like you're fine and you really were just tired. But I know you better than anyone else, save your own family. And-

The door suddenly opens and I realize to my horror that I'd actually knocked without thinking. You stand in the open doorway. Clad in a dark grey sweat shirt and jeans. The jumper has a wide neck and it displays your slender neck and collar bone nicely.

"Balmung. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the ball?"

I tear my eyes away from your neck line and meet your brown eyes. They're shadowed by your dark hair, which falls around your face, much in the same cut as your PC. Though a bit longer.

"You logged out without telling me. I was worried."

You regard me quietly, then step aside. Holding the door open. I stare at you stupidly and you roll your eyes.

"Come inside. It's cold and I'd rather not talk out in the hallway. Besides, you're not exactly dressed for the weather." you say, gesturing to my black t-shirt and pants.

I walk into the warm entrance and slip off my shoes. You watch, closing the door and locking it.

"I forgot my coat. I was in kind of a hurry."

You don't answer and lead me into the sitting room. Flopping down onto an arm chair you point to the couch.

"Sit."

I obey, sitting down and letting myself sink into the cushions. Very comfortable. You're watching me, waiting for me to explain why I'm here. I thought it would be obvious.

"Why did you log out? Shugo told me you sent him an email, saying you where tired. But I know that's not true. You would've told me yourself if that was the case."

"I... I was tired. _Am _tired." you say.

"Don't lie Reki. It has something to do with our conversation at lunch. You left so quickly and then logged out. I came to ask why. Was it that rumor? Is it upsetting you?"

"No, it's not."

"Then what's wrong?" I sit foreword, leaning on my knees. "Reki, you can tell me."

You've lowered your face, looking down at yous hands. I can't see your eyes. I scoot foreword a little more.

"Reki..."

"I can't tell you." you say suddenly. Fists clenching and un clenching.

"Why not?"

"Because, I don't want you to hate me. I don't want... to loose you. You're my only friend and if... if I tell you..." you cut yourself off. Fists balled so tight, that your knuckles are turning white with the strain.

"I wouldn't hate you and you won't loose me. I promise I won't get mad, just tell me what's bothering you."

You shake your head and I see a few tears land on your hands. I give a start. You're... crying? Before I know what's happening, I'm off the couch and kneeling in front of you. You bring your hands up to your face and cover it. Preventing me from seeing you. I frown, resting one hand on the left arm rest and the other on one of your knees.

"Reki... please tell me."

"Would it really be so bad?" you say suddenly, your voice is muffled by your hands. But I still understand you. "If the rumor was true, would it really be so bad? I mean... you're never happy! Not with her. She doesn't even love you!"

Kamui? You're talking about Kamui. Well... no I don't love her and I'm not happy with her. But...

"You deserve to be with someone who can care for you. Someone who actually loves you! Not her. I don't understand why you put up with it! When it only causes you pain. Why be with her when you don't want to!"

"I don't know. She's just there to fill the gap. Not all relationships are about love. I don't love her."

Your shoulders start to shake and you press your hands to your face with more force. I can see tears leak through your fingers and fall onto your knees and my hand.

"But it's not lust either. It's _nothing_ and yet... and yet you still insist on going out with her!"

I don't know what to say. I've never seen you like this and it's breaking my heart. I didn't know my relationship with Kamui bothered you so much. But I still don't know why it does. Is it because you don't like her? Or is it...

"You... Is the reason you hate it so much because... because you want to be with her?" I ask quietly.

You're sobs pause, but you don't remove your hands, much to my dismay. I'd really like to see your face. Your eyes especially.

"Want to be... with Kamui?" you repeat quietly. "No... no way! What makes you think that? I... I want to be with... with...!" you start to cry again, slim frame shaking with your sobs.

"With? With who?" Suddenly I'm worried. I've never thought about you actually loving someone. But now that I'm forced to, I find myself broken. Jealous, worried, confused. _Scared._ Scared that I'll loose you to someone else. I need to know who it is. I need to know why you're so upset. "With who?" I urge.

You shake your head again. I reach up and grasp your arms. My hands closing around your slim wrists easily. I pull your hands away from yous tear stained face. You don't struggle, but your sobs increase in force. But not volume, your crying is quiet, you hardly make any noise.

"Reki... who?"

"You!" you explode suddenly, eyes squeezed shut. My grip loosens and you snatch your hands back, covering your face again. "I want to be with you! I love more than anything! I don't understand why you put up with that woman, when you can have someone who can truly make you happy! I don't understand!"

I watch as you double over to press your face and hands against your knees.

"Reki..."

You love me. _You_ love _me._ Me. It explains everything. The way you've been acting, why you logged out. I said the rumor was nonsense. You obviously didn't agree, because you'd like nothing more than for it to be true. You must think I _hate_ you.

Your still sobbing, whole body shaking. I rise up onto my knees and lean foreword, wrapping my arms around you and pulling your trembling frame to me. Holding you tightly. This does nothing to stop your crying, if anything you cry harder. That's not what I want. I want you to stop. I want you to smile again. I want... you.

I pull your face from your hands and crush my mouth to yours. Your sobs stop. And you freeze up in my arms. I open my mouth and drag my tongue across your lips. They part almost immediately and I'm allowed to explore, taste, _claim_ your mouth. I open my eyes to see yours slide shut and I smile against your mouth.

I pull away, running quick, stabbing kisses along your jaw. As soon as you told me that you loved me, it was like everything fell into place. Everything I've been feeling. Everything I've been wanting, but ignoring. It's all been you. It's _always_ been you. I've just been to foolish to miss it. What I needed, what I craved for, was right in front of me and I chose not to see.

Well not anymore. This is the first time I've seen you cry and I _never _want to see it again. I never want to see you look so weak, so broken. Never.

I pull you out of the chair and onto my lap, lowering you to the carpet. You've stopped crying, but your body is still trembling. Weak from the emotional drain caused by your sobs. You gaze up at me in confusion. Your eyes are wide, puffy and red rimmed. But I don't think I've ever seen anything more beautiful.

"Balmung..." you start, but I close the distance between us again. Stopping any questions, any doubt you have.

I pull back, but only slightly. Our lips are still touching. Brushing together as I speak.

"I love you Reki. Thank you for opening my eyes."

You watch me for a moment. Still shocked. Then your arms are around my shoulders and neck and you're pulling me against you. Kissing my lips, cheeks, neck. Everything and I'm more than willing to let you. Because I love you and I plan to make that clear. All night long.

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(1) I know I did. Lol.

(2) I'm going to have to look up Kite's character.

**Ending Note: Agh... this is probably the longest thing I have ever written. It just kept going and going... I didn't want to turn it into a chapter fic, because I knew I'd loose sight of the plot and never finish it. It grew late as I wrote and my attention span went to bed, taking my muss with it. So, it's probably crap as. Forgive me. I sware I'll do better next time. Gomen.**

**And yeah, they're all OOC. Sorry... but it IS my first .hack fic. It's... 2:30 AM... agh...**

**Review if it pleases you. It'd please me very much. Lol.**


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